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Q: My wife and I were married a month ago in Thailand while we were teaching there and did not have family or friends to celebrate with at that time. We have since returned to Canada where my wife’s parents have suggested a late reception. We will be leaving for Taiwan in 3 months and will be unable to carry with us the more traditional wedding gifts. Is there any way to inform guests of our situation on the invitation without sounding ungrateful, and would it be too rude to ask for money in lieu of gifts?
A: First, many congratulations on your recent marriage! As with registries, you need never include gift information on the invitation. As people respond to the invitation, they may inquire as to your gift preferences. It is at this point in the process when you would share your living/travel plans. I would strongly suggest that you register somewhere on-line where your guests can shop and have the items delivered to your residence in Taiwan. Savvy guests will realize that if they do not purchase something from your registry, that a monetary gift would be the next best item. Gifts that are non-transportable or impractical should be exchanged, returned, re-gifted, donated or stored – while still thanking the giver for their kind thoughts and wishes.
Jodi R. R. Smith is a nationally known etiquette expert and author. She is the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. You are invited to email her your etiquette emergencies at Salem@Mannersmith.com.
Comments
I love when techology actually does work to make our lives easier! It it difficult to be a geographically-challenged bride. Thank goodness for the internet!
I liked your thoughts and comments on this question. I found them to be insightful and right on the money.
My husband and I were in a similar situation when we got married last year. We knew we were going to be moving to London after the wedding for 6 months and there was no way we could bring all those gifts with us (and we didn’t want them sent to London since we weren’t planning on staying forever). We found a website called myregistry.com that let us make a registry on which we could open cash funds. We opened several funds and gave them names like cookware fund, tabletop fund, baking supplies fund, etc. This way our guests were able to choose their gifts while making it much more convenient for us. You might want to try something like this.
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