Mellissa de Oliveira

mdoliveira-bioshot Website: de Lovely Affair
Mellissa de Oliveira is the creator and editor of de Lovely Affair, a practical wedding resource for modern multicultural couples. The blog blends world traditions and international “I Do’s,” practical planning and DIY projects with a good dose of humor, gorgeous photography and, of course, real weddings. To help inspire couples to incorporate culture into their special day, de Lovely Affair will soon feature Mellissa’s personal journey to the altar as she remarries her husband in a Brazilian destination wedding for his family.

By nature, Mellissa is a planner and an organizer with a wide range of social and community events under her belt, including her own Boston-based multicultural and bilingual wedding. For weddings, she employs Practical Planning, her unique and simple approach to getting more, paying less and still having everything you want in your celebration. She loves to talk about it, blog about it, and help brides achieve their absolute vision.

By trade, Mellissa is a Communication Specialist with a social media addiction and a penchant for story telling. She cut her teeth profiling global humanitarian work in action, as a documentary producer for a series on PBS. In addition to de Lovely Affair, she is a communications and social media consultant for political campaigns, community action groups, small start-ups, and non-profits.

By craft, Mellissa is currently enchanted with paper and colored ink, handmade beaded jewelry, Chinese lanterns, and the color fuchsia. Most days she can be found daydreaming about personal, practical, do it yourself weddings.

Traditional Food & Drink for a Cultural Wedding

Posted by Mellissa de Oliveira on May 15, 2012

As I mentioned in a previous Wed Loft post about multicultural weddings, serving traditional food and drink is an easy way to honor culture and family at your wedding. With our ever growing community of global caterers and restaurants, modern multicultural couples have a wide variety of reception options from which to choose. From simple appetizers to cocktail hour treats and even a full plated meal, food is the great mediator that brings families together and adds cultural flavor without overwhelming the entire wedding celebration. Here are some of my favorite dishes:

Ceviche is a popular seafood appetizer in the coastal regions of Latin America. Served cold, it is always fresh and relatively simple for caterers to create. The dish is perfect for a Latin inspired cocktail hour; add some gourmet chips, guacamole, and fresh farmer’s cheese for a fabulous appetizer plate.

Photo Credit: ColonyWineMarket.com

Your Italian ancestors surely dined on traditional wedding soup, a perfect first course for a sit down reception meal. Follow up with various fresh pasta dishes served family style, ending with fruit, salad and a generous shot of Limonchello to cleanse your palette.

Photo Credit: AdventurousFoodie.com

A Japanese sushi bar is an enticing addition to a cocktail hour. Remember to include vegetarian options for non-fish eaters. Sushi can be a brave choice so be sure to research your caterers and check out comments on the various online review sites.

Photo Credit: JillGordonCelebrate.com

A home style Brazilian BBQ is sure to please any grilling fanatic with its wide variety of meats, salads, and vegetables. Know for its simple yet flavorful seasoning, Brazilian BBQ and the accompanying side dishes are perfect for a buffet style reception.

Photo Credit: Samba via EthnicEats.ca

Of Greek decent? Fill a dessert table with traditional cakes and pastries. An old country family sweets recipe would make a perfect favor for your guests. Remember to include the instructions so they can pass on the tradition with their families.

Photo Credit: GreekIslandWeddingInspirations.com

Here are some of my favorite drinks:

Mead, a homemade wine-like drink, is common at Irish weddings. Easy to make at home, mead is a thoughtful, unique gift for guests.

Photo Credit: Emily Foran / Three Little Words

Beautifully colored and deliciously tasting, Sangria is the drink of choice at weddings with a Latin flair. Simple to make and serve, it is a perfect summer wedding signature drink.

Photo Credit: DelizieDelizie.com

Sake is a Japanese rice wine served at special occasions such as weddings, birthdays, and holidays. Served chilled or warm, sake etiquette, pouring for others and receiving in specific movements, is a common custom in Japan. Advice from sake experts: sip slowly and never let a cup go dry.

Photo Credit: found on WeddingbyColor.com

I hope you’ve enjoyed our little global tour of traditional wedding food and drink. No matter how you choose to add culture your wedding, this special touch is sure to connect with your families and guests and provide happy memories for you newlyweds for years to come.

Happy Planning!

Mellissa

Filed under: Guest Experts, Our Team, Theme & Color Inspiration

May 15, 2012 by Mellissa de Oliveira

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Creating Cultural Wedding Invitations

Posted by Mellissa de Oliveira on April 24, 2012

As the first substantial peak into your big day, your wedding invitation is one the most important elements in your wedding planning process. In addition to important event details, an invitation also reveals wedding style and theme. It is a visual cue that says formal, playful, ethnic, romantic, modern, and it immediately brands your celebration.

Photo Credit: found on La Vita Bella Events

These days, more and more couples are incorporating tradition and culture into their invitations with a creative blend of design, language, and color. This choice is a meaningful gesture that conveys honor and respect to family heritage and sets the tone for the celebration to come. Remember, wedding invitations can have a strong impact; they create emotional connections with guests, and become keepsakes for proud mothers. When they reflect your unique story, your background and ethnicity, they truly represent who you are and will be as a couple.

Here are four tips for infusing culture and diversity into your wedding invitations.

1. Color - Choose a color palette traditionally associated with a culture, such as red and gold common in Chinese culture, white and blue in Greek tradition, for instant recognition.

Photo Credit: Magpie Paperworks

2. Pattern/Texture – Traditional Scottish tartan is a perfect example of how a pattern can be used to evoke a strong cultural connection. Italian baroque patterns, Japanese rice paper, even materials such as silk or bamboo, all achieve the same effect.

Photo Credit: Palettera

Canadian-Scottish-Chinese wedding invitation – notice the small Chinese character in the bottom corner.

3. Language – With one or both families possibly speaking a different language, designing a bi-lingual invitation prevents one tradition from appearing more dominant than another. Plus, everyone will be able to read it. This invitation from design company Regas New York is a perfect example; its red belly band is engraved with Chinese characters and opens to reveal another design in English.

Photo Credit: Karen Wise

Photo Credit: Karen Wise

4. Imagery – Traditional imagery is very specific and differs greatly from one country, one culture to another. When you see a shamrock, you think Irish, a lotus flower or cherry blossom, Japanese or Asian culture comes to mind, and Day of the Dead images, as below, are very specific to Mexican culture. Find a way to fuse imagery from both cultures for a fully representative invitation.

Day of the Dead Wedding Invitation Suite

Photo Credit: Sarah Yates via Alchemy Fine Events

Photo Credit: Sarah Yates via Alchemy Fine Events

I love all the little images that make up this skull. Can you find the Mickey Mouse? Abalone buttons for eyes…inspired!

Every culture is unique and there are so many ways to represent the traditions of both families. Using any one of these four tips will ensure your wedding invitations are culturally inclusive, make a strong statement, and create a lasting impression.

Happy Designing!

Mellissa~*

Filed under: Customization, Guest Experts, Paper Goods

April 24, 2012 by Mellissa de Oliveira

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Practical Planning: Rehearsal Dinner

Posted by Mellissa de Oliveira on February 14, 2012

Gather your family and friends, bring on the food and drink, throw in some stories, cheers, and lots of laughs for what may be the last chance to relax before wedding mayhem commences — your rehearsal dinner. Usually held after a ceremony trial run, this small, intimate event allows families to mingle and bond, you to spend more time with loved ones and thank those who have helped along the way. More and more, this typically North American tradition is taking on a modern twist for couples looking to add a touch of culture that won’t overshadow the entire wedding celebration.

Photo Credit: Noah Hawthorne Photography

Location, Location, Location: Depending on the size of your party, venue choice is the most important decision. Although usually held near the ceremony location or at the hotel where guests are staying, any gathering spot will do as long as it comfortably accommodates everyone. For a cultural touch, choose a restaurant serving traditional fare to help introduce new foods, flavors, and customs into the family. My husband and I had our rehearsal dinner at a Brazilian restaurant since our reception food was more standard, allowing our families to share a delicious Brazilian meal together in celebration.

Photo Credit: via Tailored Engagements

Show your Style: Your rehearsal dinner isn’t necessarily the ugly step-sister to your reception and can have a fabulous style and feel all its own. Use elements of your wedding theme to tie everything together but don’t reveal the big day surprise. A formal meal in an elegant restaurant may be appropriate for a traditional wedding. Why not add a small roving band to play the classics? Having casual wedding in mom’s backyard? A fancy catered picnic can set the mood early; throw in some lawn games just for fun.

Cultural food, music, and decoration are excellent ways to honor both family backgrounds; remember U.S. culture can also vary by region and could be included. Bring in traditional singers, specialty dancers, drumming groups, or henna artists to entertain guests. These gatherings can be as fancy, informal, traditional and offbeat as you want, just have fun and show your personality.

Photo Credit: Braun Photography

The Big Questions: Who pays and who is invited? Etiquette says the groom and his parents are responsible for the rehearsal dinner with only the wedding party, their spouses and immediate family invited. These days, couples are opting to pay, which allows for more guest list flexibility. I invited all my out of town guests; they came from too far away just to sit in the hotel room while we ate. At the end of the day, it’s your party, invite the people you want to be there celebrating with you.

Photo Credit: Stars Wedding

More than just eating: Wedding days are hectic so this event is a perfect time to thank loved ones for their help and support during the planning process. A quick toast from the couple is common before opening the floor for others to share and toast. Gifts are usually given to parents, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and those taking on important wedding roles. Gifts representing family heritage and toasts in multiple languages are simple ways to add a cultural dimension in a meaningful way.

Photo Credit: Storkie

The extras:
Invitations: Who, what, when, where, all those important details your guests need; try snail mail, e-mail, or in an out-of-town guest bag.
Pictures: This is part of the entire wedding celebration; remember the photos. You will want them in years to come. If you can, arrange for your photographer to come by for an hour or so. If not, spread the word for guests to snap away.
Transportation: If you have the resources, providing transportation to and from for guests can be a nice touch.

Most important, have fun, enjoy yourself, your family, your friends, your soon-to-be spouse; everyone is there to celebrate you!
Happy Planning!

Filed under: Guest Experts, Planning & Resources

February 14, 2012 by Mellissa de Oliveira

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Practical Planning – Reduce Your Wedding Flower Costs

Posted by Mellissa de Oliveira on September 16, 2011

Wedding planning is all about making big decisions; not just yes to the dress, location, and color palette but also I’m sorry this won’t fit into our budget decisions. These days, wallets are thinner, weddings are smaller and planning is simplified. With popular DIY projects and more options for nearly everything wedding related, cutting out the excess is easier than ever.

Despite being a wedding staple, flowers always seem to be first on the list to be pared down. Bridal bouquets and reception centerpieces are costly, and rightfully so; they take time and expertise, and florists work very hard to bring your floral vision to life. However, if you have a limited budget, going DIY with all or even just some of your flower arrangements can drastically reduce this cost. With a little extra time and creativity, you can have personalized and low cost wedding flowers without sacrificing beauty or elegance.

Photo Credit: Aloha Island Weddings

1. Go Wholesale – Have a local florist pick up single flower bunches at a wholesale flower market. They can buy at prices not available to the public. Bring inspiration photos and florists can usually help you decide which flowers would best achieve your look. For mere cents a stem, I used wholesale flowers to tie together all my DIY arrangements, add dimension to pre-made bouquets, and as last minute venue decorations. For true DIY, seek out area flower markets that are open to the public. Be prepared to pay a little more than a florist might, however.

Photo Credit: Wedding Aces

2. Specialty Grocery Stores – Believe it or not, specialty grocery stores, such as Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s, carry a wide array of fresh bouquets and flower bunches that are perfect foundations for your DIY wedding arrangements. My husband and I purchased our centerpiece bouquets at Trader Joe’s for an amazingly low price. They ordered two cases directly from the grower, which meant we could choose from dozens of colorful bouquets. Friends and family helped arrange all the florals, including our florist purchased flowers, the night before the wedding, and we ended up spending less than a quarter of what centerpieces might have normally cost.

Photo Credit: ManhattanBeach.patch.com

3. Farmer’s Markets – Depending on your location in the country, farmer’s markets can be your best bet for quality and price. Usually available during the spring and summer months, sellers offer seasonal flowers in bouquets and bunches at cheaper rates than stores or even wholesale. I recently visited a lovely farmer’s market in California and found amazing deals on flowers. Connect with folks at the beginning of the season to confirm that what you need will be available from their farms come wedding time.

Photo Credit: M. de Oliveira

Gorgeous summer sunflower bouquet for only $5.

Photo Credit: M. de Oliviera

Pink roses for $5.50 a bunch are perfect for a bridal bouquet.

4. Online Wholesale Flowers – For even greater discounts, check out online wholesale services such as Global Rose, which connect you directly to growers around the world. We purchased 100 roses from them for less than a dollar a bloom. They were harvested and sent straight from the farm in Columbia within a day. Cut out the middle man, cut down the price. They turned out to be exactly what we wanted and a perfect way to tie together all our DIY arrangements.

5. Grow Your Own – Do you have soil and sun available to you? Plant a wildflower garden and use the blooms for all your bouquets. Get your maids involved in choosing the flowers and planting the seeds. Use groupings of blossoms in recycled glass containers as your centerpieces. Wildflowers create a whimsical, laid back feel, perfect for outdoor, backyard weddings. The time factor obviously increases if you choose this route but the final product is definitely worth it – inexpensive, uniquely personal, and simply beautiful.

Photo Credit: Color Splash Studio LLC

Fresh from the garden, straight to the table.

There are so many ways to cut your flower budget and still make a gorgeous floral impression. If ultimately time is an issue, choose a couple DIY projects and let your trusted florist handle the rest.

Happy Planning!

Filed under: Flowers, Guest Experts

September 16, 2011 by Mellissa de Oliveira

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A Little Culture Goes a Long Way

Posted by Mellissa de Oliveira on August 3, 2011

Today’s weddings are festive and fun, held in backyards and barns, museums and mansions with limitless options for colors, dresses and hors d’oeuvres. We like them eccentric and eclectic, imaginative and out of the box, and thoroughly modern. Wedding are ALL about the couple and letting their personalities shine through.

Photo Credit: Clark + Walker Studio

But remember, weddings are also about blending families, combining customs, and defining an entirely new family unit. They are a great opportunity to pay homage to family and ancestry, honoring where you came from and where you are going. Here are some tips for adding a little culture and tradition to your big day.

FOOD:
They say food is the great mediator; add food and drink and you have a party. A buffet style meal is a perfect opportunity for sampling many different traditional or ethnic dishes. Lots to choose from, no gastronomical commitment required.

Photo Credit: HawaiiWedding.com

If a buffet is not your style, offer a dessert table instead, laden with delicious traditional sweets and treats – also a great opportunity to get family members involved. Does your great aunt have a cookie recipe passed down through generations from the old country? Give a small bag of them along with the recipe as a gift to your guests.

Photo Credit: Jasmine Star

MUSIC:
Traditional music is the heartbeat of any culture and music definitely makes the wedding, from the ceremony straight through to the last dance. Simple musical additions such as bagpipes, Taiko drummers, a Mariachi band can flavor your celebration with rich sounds and transport your guests to another place entirely.

Photo Credit: found on Pamdora.com

Elizabeth Lloyd

DECOR:
You can pay homage to your ancestral roots relatively simply with your decor choices – incorporate your family’s tartan colors as a wedding brand for a Scottish touch, use Indian inspired lamps and yards of vibrantly colored fabric for a South Asian wedding, Spanish hand fans and mini succulents in terra cotta pots add a Latin flair, and of course, show your Irish pride with shades of green, horseshoes for luck and a little of your grandmother’s lace. Choose a single prominent piece or create an entire cultural look; either way your family will be honored.

Photo Credit: found on Clap Classique

Photo Credit: Andrena Photography

There are so many options for incorporating culture into your wedding, from traditional dancing and ancient ceremony practices like handfasting to bi-lingual invitations and colorful parades…a little goes a long way in honoring your heritage. So get creative and enjoy the results!