Q: With our daughter’s upcoming wedding, the cost of which will be split between us, the groom’s parents and the bride (not the groom), how do we decide how many people each side is entitled to invite? Does the bride’s family still have the final say on how many guests are invited and how many of those guests are the groom’s side?
A: Generally, in the interest of peace and future interactions, the groom’s side is giving approximately the same number of seats as the bride’s side, even when the bride’s side is paying for the wedding in full. However, with that said, there are many factors to consider. The number of invited guests is dependent on the size of the wedding, the seating capacity of the reception hall, the cost per plate, the size of each side’s family, and what is deemed equitable by those paying for the wedding.
You, your husband and your daughter should sit down and talk about numbers. Decide what might be a fair number of guests for each side, and then approach the groom’s side to discuss.
Jodi R. R. Smith is a nationally known etiquette expert and author. She is the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. You are invited to email her your etiquette emergencies at Salem@Mannersmith.com