Everyone knows your wedding should be your own unique ceremony but how do you balance non-traditional with respectful? Let’s work through the issues faced by unique ceremonies. If you’re looking for advice concerning any non-traditional aspect of your wedding day, this is the place to get a tasteful opinion so you can make the choice that’s right for your big day. If you have two brides, who walks down the aisle? If you have two grooms, who stands on the left? Trying to incorporate Neo-Pagan rites without scaring your traditional Christian family? Let’s take on the questions the etiquette books haven’t gotten around to answering yet!
Photo Credit: Flypaper.bluefly.com
I’m a middle-aged gay male living in the Midwest. My partner of five years, and I are ready for our wedding but it’s on hold at this time. Why is that? And if I haven’t married, what makes me think I can help you plan your wedding? That’s easy.
We have been planning how to make our wedding into our wedding. For example, one of our requirements for our day is legal recognition. My fiancé is an attorney so we’ve already signed the living wills, advance directives, power of attorney documents, and are as legal as we can be in Indiana. Still, we want a legally recognized acknowledgement of our commitment to love each other. That led us to a Destination Wedding. With family and friends living in the Southwest, exciting San Diego seemed to be the right spot. We selected a venue set the date and continued the planning. No matter how much you plan, remember not everything is within your control. Then we found ourselves unable to get the wedding we wanted, where we wanted it. Yes, there are other states where we can be wed but at this time none of these options feel “just right” for us. Since our wedding is going to be our wedding, we’re patiently waiting for the right place.
Photo credit: Zimbio.com
Although we’re in a holding pattern – that doesn’t mean the wedding planning (and revisions) isn’t well underway (are wedding plans ever really finalized?). Having worked through many of the unique aspects of a same-sex ceremony, balancing religious differences (including those of our guests), and incorporating desired multi-cultural rituals, I think I can help you make your unusual wedding your unique ceremony without undermining the true meaning of the ceremony. At the end of the day, you want your family and friends to celebrate your public declaration of your love, without feeling like they’ve just been some excuse for a party. Sure, you can party but do it like it’s a wedding party and you’ll be hearing those appreciative accolades comments for years to come!
So where do we begin? This blog is your blog. There are sorts of etiquette books to tell you where the father of the bride sits but what about the rules that haven’t caught up with the times? What about the traditions and customs that haven’t been written yet? What issues are you trying to resolve in your wedding? Perhaps you’re still trying to decide IF you should be married, or civilly united, stay shacking up, or whatever. What’s the most pressing item on your mind this week? We’ll work together to find the traditions that apply, and to establish the proper customs where there are none – all without compromising your wedding.
Image Credits: Flypaper.bluefly.com, Zimbio.com
Inside the Outside Wedding
Photo Credit: Anne Surface
Important Elements of an Outdoor Wedding Ceremony
I live in the midwest in the Kansas City area. The area is known for its unpredictable weather. Kansas City also is in tornado alley and we get our fair share of severe weather during the months of April, May and June. So why am I taking such a huge risk by having my wedding ceremony outdoors on May 1st? I love spring. I love the sense of new beginnings it brings. The flowers, the trees, the sunshine—it’s the perfect season for a wedding. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t go into planning my outdoor wedding blindly. Below are just a few things I’ve considered so far in planning my outdoor wedding.
The Backup Plan. One of the first things I considered for my outdoor wedding was a backup plan. If you’re considering an outdoor wedding, it’s great to think you’re getting married outdoors rain or shine, but who really wants their guests to sit through a ceremony soaking wet or in wind tunnel? It is not ideal and your guests will not be happy. Speak with your venue about rain plans. Usually venues can provide great and creative alternatives to outdoor events.
Photo Credit: AffordableUtahWeddings.com
Consider Comfort. Another thing to consider for your outdoor wedding is making sure your guests are comfortable. If your outdoor wedding is during a warm time of year, a great idea is to turn your programs into fans. Guests will be sure to keep cool during the ceremony. If it’s going to be chilly during your wedding, a fun idea is to drape shawls in your wedding colors across the back of chairs so your female guests can wrap one around them if they get chilly. It’s also a great way to dress up your chairs.
Provide Seating. Don’t forgo chairs for your guests. Even if you keep the ceremony short and sweet, guests will want to know where their chairs are. For most venues, you are responsible for renting your own chairs. Check out the rental companies in your area and compare rates. Be sure to ask about the set up and take down and if there is an additional charge.
Photo Credit: CeremoniesIdo.com
Simple Décor. One good thing about an outdoor ceremony is, depending on your venue, décor can be minimal. If you’re going to be on the grass, you can easily dress up your pews with pomanders on shepherd’s hooks. Since my ceremony is outdoors and my wedding is indoors, I’ve planned the décor in a way that it can be used both indoors and outdoors (just incase!).
Appropriate Attire. Your wedding attire should go with the theme of your outdoor wedding. If you’re having an outdoor wedding in the spring or summer, why not choose light weight fabrics or light colored suits. Also, as the bride, you certainly don’t want to stand outside in the heat sweating in a heavy dress with tons of tulle.
Photo Credit: SnippetandInk.blogspot.com
Let it Happen. Finally, I plan on trying not to stress about the weather. It is something beyond my control and I’ve already accepted that the wedding may need to be indoors. Even if you have your heart set on having your wedding outdoors, don’t be too disappointed or let it ruin your special day if it’s not. The most important thing is that you are marrying your soul mate and in the end, it doesn’t matter whether you say your “I dos” outside or in.