I used to have a love-hate relationship with weddings—loved going to them, hated that I hadn’t had mine yet. It was more than that, of course. Most of us dream of a storybook romance, being swept off our feet by that perfect someone, and I was no different. So when my “time” finally came, I wasn’t about to miss a single aspect of it. You might have called me a Do-It-Yourself Bride. (My mom called me a control freak once or twice.)
But no matter how hard you try to slow down the experience and enjoy every second of it, it still flies by way too fast. My husband, Greg, and I were engaged for seven months before the big day. I tell everyone that our engagement was the perfect length—long enough to get everything planned but not too long to wait. Looking back, I could have planned and planned and planned forever! I had so many ideas but only one wedding.
Photo credit: Caron Cooper
The reality is: there is no right or wrong when it comes to the length of your engagement or the amount of time needed to plan a wedding. I know one Bride that was engaged for two months. They wanted to get married in February and didn’t want to wait. They planned a church wedding, a dessert reception and party that night. A good time was had by all!
Photo Credit: WeddingWindow.com
Some things to consider:
Money. Finances often decide wedding timelines. If you don’t have the money available to host the type of wedding you desire, then you/your fiancé/your family will need time to save for the occasion. If this is the case, it is crucial to first prepare a budget. Determine what is needed and how long it will take to reach that goal.
Photo Credit: OneWed.com
Older Relatives. When my husband and I were talking wedding dates, one of the factors we considered was the health and age of some of the most important people in our lives. This may sound morbid, but we hated the thought of not having our grandparents, for instance, with us on our day. That eventually trumped a special anniversary, which was more than a year away.
A Special Date. If you have your heart set on getting married on Valentine’s Day, or your parent’s anniversary, or the anniversary of the first recorded marriage, then your timeline will essentially be decided for you. You may want to consider the following year before setting the date. Four months versus 16 months is a big difference.
Photo Credit: theknot.com
Your Priorities. If you have always dreamed of a larger-than-life, 250-plus wedding, then you probably shouldn’t skimp on the planning. If you are a Do-It-Yourself Bride and plan to create handmade invitations and favors; if you stress easily; if you love the idea of being engaged—give yourself at least eight to 12 months to plan. I could have used a few extra weeks to tie it all together and would have avoided the crazy running around the week of the wedding.
On the other hand, if you are planning small ceremony with just your closest family and friends, or even a destination wedding with everything included, you might opt for a shorter engagement. Why wait? I read that the “year-plus engagement” is a contemporary thing and that at no point in history has there been so much time between the engagement and the wedding.1 Dare to be different!
Photo Credit: WeddingChannel.com
Regardless of the length of planning time, there is help. I found pre-made checklists for every timeline. WeddingWindow.com offers a To Do List that you can customize. Just choose your wedding date and a timeline (six, nine, 12 or 15 months), and a personalized list will be created for you. You can add your own items to the list, and you can export the list to your computer or cell phone. There are other sites out there that offer similar lists—just Google “wedding checklists.” I downloaded all the lists I could find to create a list that worked for me. I also found helpful lists in various bridal magazines and books.
All things considered, do what makes the most sense for you and your fiancé.
Image Credits: Caron Cooper Weller, WeddingWindow.com, OneWed.com, TheKnot.com, WeddingChannel.com
References: 1 “The Wedding Book: The Big Book for Your Big Day,” By Mindy Weiss with Lisbeth Levine.
Getting Organized!
Wedding Planning Made Easy
After you get your ring insured and decide on a date, get something to organize yourself. I bought a wedding planning book and signed up for a Wedding Window website.
Photo Credit: Barnes and Noble
The book, Easy Wedding Planner Organizer and Keepsake, is great! I bought so many wedding magazines in the first few engagement months and would tear out pictures of dresses, flowers and centerpieces which I would stick in the folders of the book. It is a binder as well so I can add receipts and copies of checks. It also has a place for business cards. You’d be surprised how many people “dabble” in things and want your wedding to be their starting off point!
Photo credit: Our wedding website, WeddingWindow.com
Wedding Organization with the Help of a Wedding Website
In addition to buying a wedding organizer book, I signed up for a wedding website on WeddingWindow.com. A mutual friend used the site for her wedding and I thought it was great to have a customized website that I could design myself without having to actually build the entire thing. Since then, I have used my Wedding Window site for almost everything! The best parts of the website are the planning tools.
My favorite tool, in particular, is the checklist. I love lists because I feel I have accomplished something whenever I put that little check by the completed item. At first glance, the list may look a little overwhelming because it has a lot of items. However, this initial list is a very helpful starting point and you can then customize the list by taking things off or adding them on to fit your personal needs. I have to admit that seeing the red font when something is overdue can be daunting, but if need be … I simply change the due date! A lot more goes into a wedding than I originally expected. The planning tools that I have access to from my Wedding Window website have really helped me to keep track of all of the unexpected ideas and plans.
Now, you may not like lists. In fact, I know people who avoid lists all together. The truth of the matter is if you’re not organized, your wedding is going to become more stressful as the day approaches. Please take note that I said organized, not controlling. Hopefully, you’ll decide on your organizer pretty quickly because you know your own style and you know what will work best for you. If by chance, you know you can’t organize your closet let alone your own wedding … you may want to think about hiring a wedding coordinator!