Photo Credit: White Haute Photography
Q: Our daughter’s sister-in-law is getting married in a few months. We have been told we are getting an invitation to the wedding. It is however in another state and we do not want to make the drive. I looked everywhere to find out what would be the appropriate amount of cash gift we should send. Please help, what proper amount of cash gift should we give?
A: The reason you have looked everywhere and have not found a number is because everything is relative. What area in the country do you live? Are you and your husband employed and well off or are you on a fixed income? Have you met this woman? Do you plan on having an ongoing relationship with her and her new husband? How well does your daughter get along with her? What amount do you usually give for weddings? What is the general price range for gifts on her registry? How many potential in-law weddings will you be invited to in the future? Have you asked your daughter what she thinks you should give based upon amounts she was given at her wedding?
As you can see, there are many factors which go into making this decision. An appropriate gift could range from $25 through to $500 depending upon your answers. And it would be unthinkable for me to tell you “$100” without knowing anything about your situation. Only you know your budget and what you can afford to generously give along with your well wishes.
Jodi R. R. Smith is a nationally known etiquette expert and author. She is the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. You are invited to email her your etiquette emergencies at Salem@Mannersmith.com
A Table for More Than Two
Photo Credit: found on cactuscreekdaily.com
Q: I am the groom’s father. His mother and I are divorced and both remarried. Most of the groom’s guests are from out of town (family). The reception seating chart has the groom’s mother, her husband and two younger children seated with me, my wife and our two younger children. Is this not just a bit tacky?
A: This is exactly right. While you may no longer be married, you and your ex-wife will always be your son’s parents. If there was a difficult situation (if one of you had not remarried or if one had cheated on the other resulting in the divorce) then you would not be seated together. But if that is not the case, I am sure you and your ex-wife can put aside your differences for a few hours for the sake of your son. Keep in mind; you only need to sit for the actual meal. Other than that, you should be mingling. Welcoming your family and introducing yourself to your new daughter-in-law’s friends and family. Take the high road. Your younger children will learn from your example and your son will be forever grateful.
Jodi R. R. Smith is a nationally known etiquette expert and author. She is the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. You are invited to email her your etiquette emergencies at Salem@Mannersmith.com