Category: Marriage & Money

Why being a bit crazy can help you be wealthy: Part 2

Posted by Heather Wilson, Wealth-Esteem Expert on September 22, 2011

In my last post, I talked about the definition of Crazy Wealth™ and how so many people are missing the key to attracting and keeping more money in their pockets—expansive feelings like joy, excitement, and enthusiasm. In case you forgot, Crazy Wealth™ is having the ability and freedom to enjoy and experience life to the fullest.

So how do you create Crazy Wealth™ in your life? There are many ways, but here are three quick tips to get you started.

Photo Credit: www.moneytime.com

Laugh: Watch a silly movie or tell a joke. A good laugh instantly lifts your mood and sends a positive message to the Universe!
Play: Chase your partner around the house (playfully, not with a frying pan), jump in puddles, make shadow puppets. Adults need to play too.
Smile: Yes, just smile. Even if you don’t feel like it, find something to smile about. Smile at strangers on the street. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Smiling can instantly lift your mood and you never know whose day you’re making better.

You know you’re doing it right when people start looking at you like you’re crazy.

None of those tips had anything to do with spending money and that’s the whole point. You need to FEEL joy and happiness FIRST and then the money and other good stuff will come. Do whatever it takes. The more you feel those wonderful expansive feelings in a day, the more you let the Universe know you’re ready for amazing opportunities and experiences to come your way. So get a little crazy.

I know it can be really difficult when you are faced with stressful money situations to laugh and have fun. But that is exactly WHY it’s so important (in a healthy way). You need to break the cycle of having so many negative thoughts and feelings about your money and allow the positive thoughts and feelings to shine through. So lighten up and have fun. You’ll enjoy life so much more and ultimately, get more of the things you really want.

Please leave a comment below telling me what you’re going to do to add a little crazy in your life.

Heather Wilson went from being a single mom sinking in debt to becoming a Wealth-Esteem expert, certified coach, international motivational speaker and author. Heather’s passion is helping couples create joyful relationships with money. Get her FREE video series at www.3keystocrazywealth.com and learn how getting naked can fix your finances.

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September 22, 2011 by Heather Wilson, Wealth-Esteem Expert

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Why being a bit crazy can help you be wealthy: Part 1

Posted by Heather Wilson, Wealth-Esteem Expert on September 15, 2011

Photo Credit: found on Shrink Candy

“Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy.”~Sigmund Freud

So tell me. Are you a little crazy? No, I am not questioning your sanity. I want to know if there are times in your life when you’re able to get a bit silly, let loose, have fun, and really live life to the fullest. Because after coaching countless clients about their finances, I’ve come to the realization that most people (and couples in particular) simply don’t have enough fun.

The majority of us live life on autopilot or we’re always so stressed out and overwhelmed that our head might explode at any moment. And when it comes to money and wealth, it’s a love/hate topic most people avoid at all costs.

Money is SOOO serious. It’s shelter over our heads and food on the table. It’s men in dark suits judging our credit score. It’s wounds from the past. It’s bills to be paid. Uggg. That’s no fun at all. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

For many people, there’s nothing fun about money unless you have lots of it.

Historically, the definition of wealth has always been a number. If you have $1,000,000, you’re wealthy. But wealth is so much more than that. I like to add the CRAZY part to the definition because that’s what’s missing for so many people—and by crazy, I mean fun, passion, enthusiasm…joy.

My definition of Crazy Wealth™ is not dependent on a number; it’s having the ability and freedom to enjoy and experience life to the fullest. And that can happen at any number.

What’s the point of Crazy Wealth™? I am sure you’re familiar with the Law of Attraction and how like attracts like. When you feel and think positive things, you attract positive experiences. When you think and feel negative things, you attract negative experiences. So if you are constantly worrying about money, chances are that will be your experience tomorrow too. BUT if you can feel joy and other positive thoughts, you can break the cycle and start attracting more positive experiences.

You need to feel the positive feelings and thoughts about money FIRST and then you will attract the opportunities and experiences that will increase your wealth. It all comes from and starts with you.

In the second part of this article, I’ll give you some ideas of how to start getting a little crazy every day. But in the meantime, can you comment with some thoughts about free ways you can have more fun in your life?

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September 15, 2011 by Heather Wilson, Wealth-Esteem Expert

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3 Tips for Making Money Conversations Fun!

Posted by Heather Wilson, Wealth-Esteem Expert on September 2, 2011

Photo Credit: Thirdage.com

You’re planning your dream wedding. Chances are you have a budget for your wedding (let’s hope). How often do you chat about the budget or any of your finances with your financé? Is it a pleasant experience — one you both look forward to or do you avoid it like the plague?

Regardless of your own personal money style, you are now a couple and it’s time to start planning and talking about merging your financial lives. Clear, frequent, and open communication is a massive part of that – whether you are talking wedding budget or trying to figure out who is going to pay the monthly bills. Below are three tips to make talking about your money with your honey a fun and yes even enjoyable experience.

Photo Credit: VerticalJoy.com

1. Write a Financial Love Note: It may sound a bit crazy but romantic communications about your dreams, hopes, and goals will help you both learn what it is the other truly desires out of life. It reminds you both that you are a team and you can get through anything, whether it’s a tight budget due to wedding plans, or different perspectives about money. Be sure to show each other love in your notes. You can even leave each other silly little post-it money love notes like: “I loved the way you saved money on the caterer honey!”, or how about “I love that we are on the same page with our money!”

2. Make a Date!: The best way to make talking about money fun is to have a financial conversation while you are already having fun! I’m pretty sure the entire idea of having a “Money Date” may seem a bit bizarre, but just try it and you’ll see. Try things like talking about your budget while you’re both lazing in bed naked on a Sunday morning, taking a bubble bath, or make a nice dinner, light some candles, have a glass of wine, and talk about your finances. Plan a picnic or a even just go for a walk. The key is to have fun and add in a conversation about your finances. Not only will your financial communication improve but so will your relationship. Note: Your conversations don’t all have to be long either, frequent quick updates are often just as effective.

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3. Make it a Game: It can be easy to avoid your money to-do list. However, procrastinating can have a major impact on your money and your relationship. So make it a game! Create a rewards system. At the beginning of each month, sit down together and create a list of all of the financial things you need to do. Next, place them in order of your likelihood to avoid each task. Things like research banking options, get life insurance, transfer money to savings account. Then, assign rewards or prizes for each task. The more difficult or unappealing the task, the bigger the prize. For example: #5: Pay the monthly bills on time. Prize: dinner and your favorite movie. Whoever does the task wins the prize. You can totally make this system into a fun game and before you know it all the items on your list are checked off.

Money conversations should be fun. Ultimately, it’s all about finding ways to work together toward financial success rather than against each other. Your money and your relationship will both thank you. Now go out and plan your first money date!

Please share your tips for healthy and fun communication about your money in your own relationship. I would love to hear about your challenges as well. Leave your ideas in the comments section below!

Also filed under: Guest Experts

September 2, 2011 by Heather Wilson, Wealth-Esteem Expert

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The 3 Biggest Mistakes Couples Make when it Comes to their Money

Posted by Heather Wilson, Wealth-Esteem Expert on August 10, 2011

Photo Credit: Lantern Financial

You’re planning your dream wedding. You don’t want to think about money and finances. But what’s the number one cause of relationship breakdown? Money –more than sex and crazy in-laws put together. Fights, arguments, power struggles…all over money. I’m here to help you avoid those conflicts and create a prosperous and happy future together as a couple. You can beat the statistics.

Let’s talk about the biggest mistakes couples make when it comes to their money. There are many but I’ll share 3 today. Once you are aware of these, you can then take steps to avoid them.

1. No direction
The first mistake couples make is to have no direction. No wealth vision. They do not communicate on a regular basis where they want to go as a couple. Do you want to retire at 50 and travel the world? What if your spouse wants to buy a cottage on a lake and just fish all day? Those are two separate visions. You can each have individual goals and dreams but ultimately you need to have a common direction if you want to create a wealthy and happy relationship. You do this by communicating about your values preferably before the wedding but even if you’ve been married for years, it’s never too late to sit down and create a wealth vision for your future.

2. No plan
The second mistake couples make with their money is not having a plan. They live on autopilot – the money comes in and then goes right back out to pay expenses. There is no plan to create security or wealth. You simply assume you know what the other person wants and that it is the same thing you do. You live day by day, paycheck to paycheck, and before you know it you are in debt up to the eyeballs, stressed, and arguing over whose fault it is. Without a plan, you can have all the dreams in the world but you’ll have a hard time achieving them and you could easily end up a statistic.

3. Not getting help
The third and honestly biggest mistake couples make, is not getting help early on – avoiding the whole ‘money issue’. We often feel it’s not romantic to talk about money especially when planning the wedding. It seems vulgar to ask your partner how much money they make or how much debt they have. So we avoid those hard conversations. We muddle along hoping everything will work out best – when neither one of you really have a clue how to manage your money or create a wealthy future. Then something happens and you blame the other person – the arguments start, the debt piles up, and you just keep muddling through. But if you are proactive and get help in the first place – create your direction and plan, you can avoid the majority of those arguments and instead be enjoying all the best things in life. It is not a sign of weakness to get help; it’s a smart move. We are not given a money education as children – but the sooner you can get one the better off you’ll both be.

The bottom line is — having a direction and a plan really help you to navigate the twists and turns of life. Get help; get the right help early on and you’ll be the one in a million couple that was smart enough to be proactive with their money and learn the skills they need to be wealthy and beat the odds.

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August 10, 2011 by Heather Wilson, Wealth-Esteem Expert

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Healing your Money Story

Posted by Heather Wilson, Wealth-Esteem Expert on June 22, 2011

In my previous post, I talked about my money story and how it showed up in my life.

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What’s really the message that you got from your family’s money story?
In my own example, the message I got was that I was not good enough —I didn’t deserve money. This may sound familiar to some of you. My mother would say we didn’t have enough money for the things I wanted but then we would go on a trip to Disney or put in a pool. That kept reaffirming the message that money was for everyone else but me. Yes, I did benefit from the trips but as a child I never saw it that way.

The key to healing your money story: forgiveness
A lot of this stuff we take on as a burden or debt from other people—most often our parents—and they most likely got it from their parents. It’s time to break the cycle; it’s time to either forgive the debt and let it go or give it back.

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. You’re not approving, condoning, or substantiating what people did. You’re releasing the burden that you’re carrying. The opposite of forgiveness is feeling hurt, anger, upset, shame, rage, or whatever it is that we’re carrying. And we are the ones carrying it, not the other person. Forgiveness offers this incredible release that you can give yourself. It releases you from the burden and chains of the past. It impacts your future.

It doesn’t mean that you have to resume a relationship with someone who hurt you. It doesn’t mean you have to allow them into your life. It doesn’t have anything to do with the other person. The act of not forgiving is actually holding on to negative emotions. Forgiveness comes from the heart. It does not come from the mouth. It brings peace and harmony. It creates expansion, and above all, it creates freedom and peace of mind.

If you want to truly heal your money story and start attracting and keeping more, I suggest you start with forgiveness. Hand write a letter to the person(s) who gave you your early money beliefs—a letter just for your eyes. Then burn it and send the ashes to the winds. As you watch the ashes float away, let go of the old money beliefs that have held you paralyzed for so long.

Photo Credit: Lori Deschene Tiny Buddha.com

It’s not too late to set some money goals for yourself and your relationship, so if you haven’t already, why not make a promise to yourself that this time next year you’ll be in better shape financially and emotionally than you are now? To get you started and as my gift to you, I invite you to visit my website today and take my free wealth-esteem inventory . You may be surprised at some of your answers. Please leave your comments below; I’d love to read them.