Q: In this world of war, poverty and hunger, my fiancé and I would like to suggest that our guests make a donation to their favorite charity in honor of our wedding. Would there be any appropriate way to make this suggestion?
A: Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I am always so thrilled to hear about a couple who is more interested in their vows that what “stuff” they hope to receive from their guests. The best way to let guests know is to tell your immediate family and close friends. Then, ask them to help spread the word. If guests ask you directly, you are allowed to tell them you prefer a donation to their favorite charity. You and your fiancé may also decide to register on some philanthropic websites so that guests have the option of choosing a charity which the two of you wish to support.
Jodi R. R. Smith is a nationally known etiquette expert and author. She is the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. You are invited to email her your etiquette emergencies at Salem@Mannersmith.com