Q: My fiancé and I have decided not to register anywhere. We have lived together for 4 years and have everything we need. But, we do want gift certificates from Home Depot or Lowe’s to replace and update some things in our home. So we don’t get a lot of unwanted or repeated things, how do I put this in the invitation or on the directions without being tacky?
A: Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! The invitation to the wedding is for just that, to invite friends and family to share in your special day, no mention of registries or gifts should ever be included in the invitations. (You would not want to be seen as a greedy bride.) Should someone wish to bless your marriage with a small token of their affection, you will be pleasantly surprised and very grateful. Since you and your hubby-to-be have already decided what you prefer, you should start spreading the word now. Tell your parents and very good friends that you prefer certificates to home improvement stores. They will then spread the word for you. You may even want to consider registering at Home Depot or Lowe’s as there are many traditionalist out there who much prefer to give a gift than a certificate. Worst case scenario, you will be like the thousands of other brides, who despite registering receive a collection of unusual gifts. When you return from your honeymoon, you can return the gifts to the stores for credit.
Jodi R. R. Smith is a nationally known etiquette expert and author. She is the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. You are invited to email her your etiquette emergencies at Salem@Mannersmith.com