Q: My best friend is getting married and I am in the wedding party. Her sister is the maid of honor and my friend informed me that the etiquette says that sisters of brides do NOT plan the bridal shower; she said it is the bridesmaids’ responsibilities/jobs. My best friend and I are really close so I absolutely don’t mind planning the shower along with the other bridesmaids, but I wanted to get your expert opinion, is this really true etiquette?
A: Yes, this is true. The logic behind not having sisters (aunts or close cousins) host a bridal shower is that there could be the perception that the relative was just trying to coerce a gift out of unsuspecting friends. Whereas, if a friend of the bride or her family hosted a shower it would be seen as the community just being so thrilled and happy for the bride.
The tradition lives on, and wherever possible, the bride’s relatives’ names are not put on the shower invitation. It is common practice, however, for the bride’s relatives to contribute in some way, shape or form to the planning and executive of the party.
Jodi R. R. Smith is a nationally known etiquette expert and author. She is the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. You are invited to email her your etiquette emergencies at Salem@Mannersmith.com