Etiquette Emergency: 9/16/14

author , posted in Etiquette/Support
{Top image via Wings of Glory Photography}HOW TO TOAST Q.  Is it rude to give the people who are toasting us guidelines or time limits?A.  The trick here is to provide guidelines in the kindest of ways.  When you invite someone to speak at your wedding, you should be very clear as to the expectati... read more

{Top image via Wings of Glory Photography}

HOW TO TOAST
Q.  Is it rude to give the people who are toasting us guidelines or time limits?

A. The trick here is to provide guidelines in the kindest of ways.  When you invite someone to speak at your wedding, you should be very clear as to the expectations.  “Suzy, as my MOH, you will be toasting at the beginning of the reception, after the best man and before my dad.  The toast should be about 2 minutes long…you know, short and sweet.  Please let me know if that works for you and if you have any questions.  My cousin Robin is a speech coach, if you want to practice with her in advance, just let me know.”

 

COLLECTIVE WEDDING THANK YOU
Q.  I’ve always thought that a hand-written thank you note was a must for any occasion.  I’ve recently received printed thank you cards from couples that are clearly a generic message that goes out to all guests.  After attending the event and giving a generous gift, I feel a bit slighted.  Has this become the acceptable practice or, dare I say, the norm?

A.  No, a handwritten note for a gift (generous or not!) is still the norm and the requirement.  A pre-printed thank you card is simply not acceptable.  Perhaps an etiquette tome would be a better gift for these greedy couples.

SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE?
Q.  What are the etiquette guidelines for social media at weddings?  People are on their phones constantly these days… even at events!  Are there general rules for the couple or for guests – either as a bride/groom about asking your guests not to post your wedding on social media or as a guest to post without permission?

A.  Ah, even etiquette evolves to keep pace with the newest of technologies.  Wedding couples should choose in advance how they want to handle social media.  There are those who prefer to keep things private.  These couples will ask guests to leave mobile devices at home and not to post anything until after the wedding weekend is over.  Then there are couples who want the social media spotlight and the attention.  These couples will even announce customized hashtags in advance to encourage guests to post all night.  Either way, the gracious guest complies with the couple’s wishes.

Jodi R. R. Smith is a nationally known etiquette expert and author. She is the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. You are invited to email her your etiquette emergencies at Salem@Mannersmith.com

Comments closed