Q: I am in a predicament about how to word the following thought on a wedding invitation. My fiancée and I are not in need of the usual home wares, linens, etc. that people usually list on the wedding registry. We would prefer to receive monetary gifts in lieu of the usual barrage of house wares that would clutter and duplicate our home together. Is it appropriate to state this on an invitation? If so, how would you suggest wording this on an invitation?
A: No, it is not appropriate to mention gifts, registries or cash on a wedding invitation. It would be seen as tacky and greedy. Just as with registries, as people ask, you are permitted to tell them you already have everything you need. Savvy guests will know this means you prefer a monetary gift. But you are never allowed to share this information without being asked first. Invitations are not invoices. Do be aware, you will still receive gifts. You will then have the option of returning, re-gifting or donating them.
Jodi R. R. Smith is a nationally known etiquette expert and author. She is the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. You are invited to email her your etiquette emergencies at Salem@Mannersmith.com