You’ve created your wedding budget. You’ve started to research and booked everything you’re going to need for that one big day. You’re pouring your heart and soul and MONEY (yours and your family’s) into making your special day “perfect”. But how much thought and planning and money have you put into what happens AFTER the wedding? I’m not talking about a steamy honeymoon—I mean your marriage.
Sure, maybe you’ve decided where you are going to live and work, how many kids you both want, and perhaps who’s going to make the meals. And you might even have gone as far as to decide who’s going to take the garbage out and who’s going to clean the bathroom each week. But it’s my wild guess here that you’ve not talked much about your individual relationships with money and wealth and how that will impact your family finances in the long run.
Yes, I mean your money. Did you know you have a relationship with money? Whether you know it or not—you do. Is it a scary and depressing relationship or a joyful and abundant relationship?
Now stay with me…I know you may be thinking “what does my relationship with money have to do with a wedding blog (and an awesome blog it is) and my wedding?” I am here to tell you A LOT! Starting off your life together on the right foot is so much more than planning that one perfect day.
As a Wealth-Esteem expert and coach, I can tell you after helping countless couples create a Wealth Vision and plan for their marriage, the number one problem I see is that most couples do not talk about their money until AFTER the wedding if EVER. For many of us, this is simply repeating a pattern we learned from our parents because money was a taboo subject in our homes. This can get us into a lot of trouble in our marriage. We’ve all heard that money issues are a major cause of divorce.
I’m not here to be a downer…I love weddings and LOVE planning and going to weddings. But the truth is I also love you enough to want you to have a wonderful, long, and happy marriage too. In fact, I really want to HELP you avoid those terrible money arguments and I want for you a wealthy future.
The thing about money and wealth is you need to be proactive and not reactive. Having honest chats with each other about your financial situations (before a crisis), as well as your goals and dreams will go a long way to giving you the life you both crave.
“But Heather, I have no idea where to start? What are we even supposed to talk about?”
Great question. Thanks for asking. To get you started, here’s your first assignment—sit down together and ask each other this question.
“Honey, what’s your definition of Wealth?”
Then listen to your fiancé’s answer without judgement or comment. Write both of your answers down on a piece of paper. This is a great first step towards building a healthy, strong, and JOYFUL relationship with your money and a mutual wealth vision for your marriage.
Your relationship with money can and should be FUN (and that’s a topic of future posts). For now, think about your definition of wealth and how that makes you feel. When you’re making all your wedding plans, remember, you’re not just planning a wedding; you’re planning a marriage and a life together too.
To get the conversation started, leave your own definition of wealth below. I’d love to read it.