Floating on Cloud 9 After Your Wedding Engagement
Within twenty-four hours of being engaged, Erik saw the side of me that I had kept hidden away from him. Most girls know this side of them. It’s the side of you that scribbles your name paired with his name just to see how it looks. The side that practices your married signature, but then immediately throws it away so that your boyfriend won’t find it. The side that fantasizes about growing old together with your 2.5 well adjusted, brilliant kids. The side that looks at wedding magazines because you’ve been together for three years and you’re not getting any younger, but you don’t dare buy them because you don’t want your BF to get the wrong impression!
No? That’s just me?
We were on our three-hour drive home from Disney World and we had already made the excited phone calls so I pulled out a piece of paper and said, “Let’s make a guest list!” Erik was a little less than thrilled. In fact, I believe his response was something along the lines of, “Can’t we enjoy being engaged a little first before we start wedding planning?” I immediately got offended and thought if he didn’t want to marry me, why did he just propose?
Erik saw the disappointment on my face, and he played along as we made what would be our preliminary wedding guest list. Still, I could tell it was not exactly what he wanted to do on our car ride home. I probably should have waited another twenty-four hours! Again, I don’t know if this is how it was for you, but for some reason guys think there will be this lag time after the proposal. Like once the question has been asked “we can slow down”. This I know because most of my married guy friends have made a comment of “I didn’t realize how quickly we would start planning” or “the wedding became an all-encompassing event” or “we have only spoken about the wedding for the past couple of months”.
Note for the guys:
News flash fellas… you have opened the Pandora’s box of Weddings. Your girlfriend, now fiancée, has probably suppressed her crazy bride side for your boyfriend sanity, or BS.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Most of your girlfriends have thought about marrying you. They’ve thought about this day since they were little girls. They won’t tell you that and they’ll deny it in the same way they agreed with you that Fight Club really IS the best movie ever created. (It’s not… Brad Pitt was just in his prime.) Most likely the moment you say the magic words, a switch flips. Your once girlfriend is now a future bride. Just be patient and she’ll be back to normal … a few months after the wedding is over.
Note for the girls:
Listen ladies. The proposal … becoming an engaged couple … this is a huge step for your future groom! Planning the proposal, I’m sure, has been at the forefront of his thoughts for … who knows how long! He may need a short breather before jumping head first into planning your wedding. There is a good chance he has no idea how many countless hours you have already put into creating your fab wedding and that he has just given you license to get him up to speed.
This is what one of my guy friends wrote to me an in email: “Usually guys just don’t get into this stuff like women. So the effort he makes is mostly for you. That doesn’t mean he isn’t excited. I just wanted to marry and I am sure Erik feels the same.”
That being said, ladies, embrace this exciting time in your life! Although your future husband may not be ready to start the wedding planning a few hours into your engagement … he has been planning, for some time now, to spend the rest of his life with you. He will, in time, be ready to hear all of your ideas and help you to plan the wedding of your dreams.
Ways to Organize Wedding Ideas
That pretty much sums it up. Here’s what I did to cope … and organize my thoughts to make it easier for the both of us. I bought myself a notebook that I carried around a lot. (It fit in my big purse.) Whenever I thought about wedding ideas, I wrote it down instead of blurting it out. Erik knew what the notebook was for so he knew when I was writing, it was about the wedding. This allowed me to do it as much as I wanted without talking about it all the time. This was also good because when he was ready, my thoughts were organized and I wasn’t going in ten different directions.